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The Lonely Phase of Awakening

Updated: Apr 22, 2022

I saw a meme this morning that said, "Being awake isn't cool. It means you have to dumb down 95% of your conversations just to fit in."

I don't know about you, but I enjoy a good meme! Even though they're meant as cheap entertainment to incite humor, a solid meme has an undertone of truth and rawness that seems to draw me into a state of contemplation. Thanks to this shared post, I was reminded that there was a long-overdue blog entry ready to find it's way onto this page.

In fact, this particular meme made me aware of the dozens of conversations I've had with clients recently about this very topic. Whether you live in a small, closed-minded community, are in a relationship with a partner that doesn't understand your spiritual journey, or have friends who tease and label you whenever you go "too deep"... this post is for you!

The challenge for so many people right now is this: How do we navigate conversations with others who don't view the World like we do? How do we manage to keep growing and evolving when it seems like everyone around us is staying stagnant? Is it possible to live a happy and peaceful life when we feel like we don't fit in or buy into the status quo?

Today, I'm sharing a few pieces of insight and tips that I've learned during the earlier phases of my spiritual awakening. It is my hope that this post may inspire you and assist you as you navigate your own journey to awakening and some of these challenges.

We're Not Here to Change Anyone

Some of us have chosen to wake up in this lifetime. Some of us have elected to stay deeply programmed and conditioned to the commands of the denser frequencies. We have to understand that each Soul has selected a unique experience here on Earth. Before we incarnate, we choose the roles we will play and the lessons that we wish to learn while in this human body.

Some people have chosen to stay fast asleep and live in a state of amnesia their entire life. There's no judgement here! We must understand that this is their Soul choice and their unique journey. We must learn to step back and honor each person's individual expression.

In every moment, we must allow people to be exactly who they are, without criticism or scrutiny. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are only here to change ourselves. When our main focus becomes personal growth and inner peace, we stop worrying about what others are thinking or doing and the desire to change others no longer exists.

Meet others where they're at

This is another lesson that I learned way back during my yoga-teacher days in my early 20s. We must learn to talk to people on their level; not ours. This is especially true when we're talking about subjects that are really controversial or meaningful.

In other words, you may feel like you have to dumb down many conversations. And, that's okay! It's often necessary if we want to have any kind of hope in getting through to others. We must learn how to speak other people's language in order to connect.

When I was completing my 200-hour yoga training I had wondered how to teach students about consciousness and other Universal concepts without the information going straight over their heads or overwhelming them. I was so deep in my studies, that I often forgot that the average, everyday yoga student didn't have the depth of knowledge that I did.

My challenge was always to discover how to speak my truth and share my wisdom without sounding condescending or like a know-it-all. I also didn't want to overwhelm them to the point that they'd just stop listening and check out of the teachings all together.

What I learned is that language is an exquisite art-form, where you learn to find ways to plant tiny, little seeds of truth deep into a person's subconscious layers. Most meaningful conversations start with a simple and easy-to-understand sentence or question. Dropping a tiny, little "truth bomb" will give you time to assess if the receiver is ready for more information or whether you need to pull back. Regardless of how the recipient responds, they now have a new seed of truth and inspiration embedded in their psyche that they can choose to water over time.

When you're having important conversations with others, sometimes you'll get through to them, and sometimes you won't. It's not your job to worry about what a person chooses to do with the truths that you express. Deliver your message, if you must, and then release any expectations about how it will be received.

Multiple Truths Exist

Part of the human journey is understanding that we each get to have our own, unique, individual experiences. My truth and reality is always going to be radically different from everyone else's. In fact, life would be really dull and boring if we all had the exact same beliefs, experiences and life lessons.

Whenever I'm presented with someone who has a vastly different belief than my own, I remind myself to honor their truth. Just because someone has a truth that I disagree with, doesn't mean that it always needs to be challenged or confronted.

Each and every person's opinion matters. Our beliefs matter. Our voices matter. Do you like it when others challenge your beliefs, try to censor you, or tell you that you are wrong? No, of course not. So, we must be the change we wish to see and simply give people space to exist in our reality even if they hold a different truth or belief than we do.

Disconnected, Lost and Lonely

Nobody told me that there is a phase during the spiritual awakening journey that feels like total isolation and loneliness. For some people, this can last years, while for others it lasts only a few months.

Mine lasted many years. And, in fact, most days I still find myself thinking, "There's nobody in my life who will every truly understand me and what I've gone through."

As you start to raise your consciousness, you'll become more and more interested in metaphysical concepts and topics based around spirituality. Everything about you will begin to transform, including your beliefs, your world views and your lifestyle habits. Unfortunately, very few, if anybody, will completely understand you and the changes you're undergoing. You may even find that people you love will be holding on to the "old version" of you and having a difficult time accepting the new person that you are becoming.

This is a difficult and tricky part of the spiritual journey. I wish I had solid advice for you. But honestly, the only thing I can tell you is that this phase does get better. Partially, it gets better because you learn to love yourself so much that you enjoy the isolation and quite solitude that this time brings. You'll actually realize that you no longer need acceptance from anything outside of yourself.

You'll also find that as you connect more deeply to yourself and to God, that shallow and surface-level conversations that you used to enjoy no longer interest you. You'll find that the more you raise your vibration, the harder it is to engage in meaningless interactions. So, it's completely normal to feel somewhat disconnected to others or lost as you learn to reconnect to yourself in a deeper way.

If you find that you need more space or quiet time, be sure to let your loved ones know. Tell them that you're working through some things in your life and that you're need to be alone right now is not personal.

Not Everything Requires a Reaction

Unawakened people can sometimes be like energy vampires who need your vibrant, bright energy to "fill them up" because they're unable to fill themselves up. These people are constantly looking for praise, validation and acceptance from the Outer World. And, when they don't receive that from you, they'll seek to trigger you or get your emotional reactions.

The worst thing that you can do in these situations is to react. Do not.... I repeat... DO NOT give them what they want. If you can't create a non-emotional and carefully-crafted response, simply walk away or keep scrolling. You can always say something like, "I don't wish to engage in this conversation." Establishing strong boundaries are critical in these situations.

In a world where arguments, debates and divisiveness seems to be the new normal, I find it's best to disengage from these energies as much as possible. Of course, there's always a time and place for healthy conversation, but most days, I'm simply not in the mood. And, I'm learning to honor these feelings more and more.

Recently, I've noticed how triggering and emotional social media makes me feel right now. Every time I hop online, I'm inundated with everyone's opinions telling me how I should feel and what I should believe. The comments sections are loaded with emotional reactions and people seeking validation and attention. I find myself wanting to disengage from these kinds of activities more and more because they simply do not serve my highest good.

Toxic people will always try to bring your vibe down. Sometimes the best action is no action at all. You need to learn to protect your energy, even if that means you must walk away, turn off your phone, change the subject or simply listen and observe without the need to give an opinion or response.

Use Your Voice to Heal

My Spirit Guides were talking to me about this lesson the other day. Energetically, they were showing me how so many people are using their voice in a fiery, destructive and harmful kind of way. I literally was shown a vision of fire coming out of people's mouths. I was shown how people are using their voice to tear down others who think differently than they do.

The Guides were telling me that we have a responsibility to speak about difficult topics, personal feelings and human injustices in a way that heals them rather than stokes the flames of division. They said that we must learn to use our words in a way that "soothes over any anger or hate that people may have."

Instead of fire, I was shown the image of water coming out of my own mouth. It was like a calming, peaceful, reconciling frequency that poured out of me every time that I spoke. I was told that I needed to, "Practice a style of delivery that brings peace and calm rather than chaos, confusion or division."

We must become more mindful of our speech when dealing with lower vibrational people. This is a good place to increase our awareness by evaluating whether we are adding fuel to the fire, or whether we are using our words to heal and soothe the burning psyches and fiery energies all around us.

Practice Non-Judgement

In summary, the best piece of advice I can give you when dealing with unconscious people is to stay in your heart. Always. This is the medicine that is most needed in the World right now.

We are being challenged in each and every moment to disconnect from our heart space and to stop loving and caring for one another. We're constantly being bombarded with energies and information that is seeking to divide, confuse and harm us.

When you act and speak from your heart, rather than from a place of judgement or ego, you give permission for others to do the same. Now, more than ever, we must be the change we wish to see in the World.

I hope this message finds you well!

With Love,



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